Funny Futurism pt. 2

Continuation. Probably scroll down if you haven't read part 1. Sorry guys, the Internet is the predator of reading and I'm a retard of post-2010 intelligence. Dad went to get brotherBot-Xtreme 2.0 or whatever.

Back to Gary Shteyngart, who wrote a story called "Super Sad True Love Story" and the story-words are even funnier than that Title. Of course when I use "funny" near things like this it means "really really boring." Again, I'm sorry but stuff that is advanced is also changing the way I speak!
and only in a bad way .

Here's part of that NY Times article again.

In Shteyngart's "Super Sad True Love Story," a sinister Bipartisan government is waging an oil war with Venezuela, New York is balkanized into heavily fortified neighborhoods like the United Nations Retail Corridor and äppäräti — iPhone-like devices worn around the neck — give constant updates on your credit worthiness and sexual hotness.

I tried to read Absurdistan for a book club that was set up by a former professor who has no taste, I guess. Quick synopsis from Wikipedia:

It chronicles the adventures of Misha Vainberg, the 325-pound son of the 1,238th-richest man in Russia, as he struggles to return to his true love in the South Bronx.

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Sorry; things I hate throw me into a rage. I promise I have a point here.

I know that there are critics who find Shteyngart 'absurdly funny' or something like that and maybe he is to them. Laughter is too visceral to judge. So as humor can be considered low or highbrow so can laughter, should you make the distinction. I don't think it's necessary--qu'est-ce qui me fait rire, c'est le plus amusant. Step Brothers is really funny and so is Pastoralia by George Saunders. Infinite Jest is hilarious but not as much as Paul F. Tompkin's Cake Boss impression. I didn't smile once at Absurdistan, though I could find the places that made him marvel at his own wit. Ironic references to Dostoyevsky, convolutions bloated in the silhouette of social critique, the unholy juxtaposition of reference and ribaldry.

The last motif is exemplified by the character's use of "khui" (actually in italics, every time) in reference to his penis. Say Shteyngart opted for "dick." It's easier to type (at least on a MacBook) and--here's the best part--the reader will understand what he means the first time that word appears! Think of a funny nudity scene in a movie. I'll try Forgetting Sarah Marshall w/ Jason Segel. He gets naked like twice and they're both surprising and funny moments. What if there were fifty more nude scenes but instead of his penis there was a foreign symbol to represent nudity in general. Jason Segel naked is replaced by a § or something. You see Kristen Bell's reaction but maybe don't realize that § means "his dick is out" until a few seconds in. Too late, other people are laughing and you didn't get it in time. The screen goes black and tells you to go fuck yourself, this movie is restricted to better people than you.

Okay, I can't sidetrack myself. I'll discuss my hatred for puns and referential humor later. I need to comment on how Absurdistany it is that people may want to read this new story after that inadvertent caveat in the Times Magazine. I am too struck by how whiny this story sounds--I'm not as disturbed by the future as I am by these present do-nothing doomsayers. Let me explain that a book like Infinite Jest does not offend me despite the thematic similarity because it wore nothing on its sleeve. It barely mentions the time of story--like 2003 or something?--something immediately thrust upon the audience of Shteyngart's story as it is his 'foray into futurism' or whatever, I don't know. DFW had very few characters that I was able to actually disdain, and I can't remember a single one now. Shteyngart, you know what he thinks of his characters. And when the authors get cautionary about technology they totally split paths. There is an amazing section, probably as long as Shteyngart's story, in Infinite Jest that describes the silly rise and fall of video chat technology, told with care and prescience--a quality available only to those who live in the present.

Look. I have no idea what the Shteyngart story is. I definitely have better things to read. If you want to read it go ahead, I bet it will corroborate my argument. If it doesn't, or if you don't read it, at least this story is a straw man, an effigy for thought that I despise. One last time, sorry guys. Schadenfreude.

In Shteyngart's "Super Sad True Love Story," a sinister Bipartisan government is waging an oil war with Venezuela, New York is balkanized into heavily fortified neighborhoods like the United Nations Retail Corridor and äppäräti — iPhone-like devices worn around the neck — give constant updates on your credit worthiness and sexual hotness.

The baseline for futurism is here--all this stuff coming in 14 years, it's influenced by the most visible future ever i.e. now, so we have Political Parties; The Government; Oil; Venezuela; Rezoning; Consumerism. I'll let those first few things go--probably they're due to lack of creativity. I'm concerned with the "United Nations Retail Corridor and äppäräti." Clearly uncreative but more importantly, clingy to the zeitgeist. Offensively relevant.

Apparently this äppäräti thing is like an iPhone but it does stuff like gauge your worth via credit or appearance. Can we even say there is one layer of meaning to this? How does this not instantly sound way shittier than even 1984? Linear extrapolation. Middle school science in a book, applied to society! Here's a monologue of a play I wrote called I'm Gary Shteyngart: Hm, what am I uncomfortable with today? Advertising, of course. Capitalism...yeah yeah. Dude, vanity. I know I'm smart but inexplicably I'm so defensive about my modest looks that I'll prognosticate my frustration by applying it to my darkly humorous vision of the future. Ergo: hey, some people think too much about how they look --> in the future it'll be worse. And scene...you get the idea.

But Kiptok it's a satire! It's a playful critique of society by projecting hyperbolae of the parts of society that he wants to change! Necessarily he has to push the envelo-- Let me stop you right there, me. He isn't pushing the envelope. This isn't new. Read Plato or something. There are better ways to opine. Please please don't tell me this stuff is edgy. I don't want to find out that my generation is already that old. Edgy stuff is intrinsically surprising. Have you ever seen that movie The Aristocrats? Watch it again and try to listen hard for your own laughter. Does the concept of the United Nations Retail Corridor sound funny to you? Wow, maybe it *would* be bad if this universal concept of retail infringed upon the sanctity of the United Nations! The hijinks in here certainly don't bode well for at the very least the economic climate of this already very consumeristic nation. LOL President Violent J is promoting Faygo in the General Assembly hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (guys I'm sorry I'm so sarcastic... happens when I'm angry)

Look dude, I go to college in New York City. Got a finger on the pulse of young thought. Most of them still don't care much about their social impact--pretty selfish but their style doesn't have much influence. I'm bothered more by their enemies the complainers, the (following adjs. are all touched with skepticism) worldly, conscious, idealistic and cultured young people. First things first, fuck their attitude. This is the archetype: moderately versed in literature, art, film, music, etc. of course. These people know their share of David Lynch, Italo Calvino, Deerhunter. They just went to MoMA last week, they haven't checked out PS1 yet but they're going next weekend. Most importantly, liberal and have you read the piece about Gerhardt Richter in the New Yorker yet?

Don't forget set theory and subjectivity. This is a relatively small group of people and I still find them mostly redeeming. If I express contempt it's for behavior. Even if your behavior corresponds you are not necessarily an offender. And you're definitely not worse off if you don't know Lynch, Calvino and Cox. I don't hate anyone. But if you complain more than a bit I have real problems with your style.

But the views these people can espouse and the things they can like! It's smart people being stupid. I go to an ivy league college FYI. They know they're gifted but I don't like the occasional case of entitlement. My example: people promoting bullshit art like everything Gary Shteyngart drafts in Word 2008. Influence is dangerous, man! And it disheartens me to hear classmates sound off on their distaste for the lights in Times Square or the way people look at screens or how whenever they go on Facebook they see people playing games! Fucking games! Farmville what a waste of time! On a website that appears in your address bar the instant you type a single "w". How can they be so selfish.

I don't care what you do! Thanks for spending Spring Break in Guatemala! Thank you for having freerice.com as your homepage. I love--really--that you read so much and study so hard. That's great because I have trouble with stuff like that.

Everyone young still has a lot of energy to use. Obviously a lot of that is wasted as with any machine. Fucking thermodynamic laws!!! Who needs to waste more? I understand that it can be something of a relief to vent frustration, to sometimes berate your roommate or pee on her pillow when she's gone. Good investment though is developing new techniques and using your innate influence to change things slowly. If your roommate wakes you up all the time then next time punch him in the jaw or something. Or whatever, figure out the best way to fix that. Times Square doesn't give a shit about you, there are a ton of people there who matter more than you do. A derisive look doesn't kill Twitter. Fight or